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The Darkness

I am not going to go on this long tangent about what depression does or is. However, I am going to explain what depression does and is to me . Most of the time, I call it "The Darkness". I can't really see it, and it can creep up on me at any given second, and when it does, it casts a shadow over everything I love - me included. "The Darkness" is a good nickname for the part of my brain that wants to be an asshole. More and more, people are starting to notice the seriousness of this "disease". Great. That still doesn't make a huge difference in my life. When I wake up, with the gut feeling of: "This is going to be a dark week", it's not others' realization of "The Darkness" being an actual, real thing that gets me through it. It's not positive thinking, or smiling through it that keeps me from making the million versions of "How I Can Kill Myself" become a reality either. There are times, where I wish...
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The Realization

I wouldn't say that life as a single mother is the hardest - because everyone's life is different, and I have personally met a lot of people with a much harder life than me. However, being a single mother is never something one would dream of being as a child. When I was too young to know what a family really should be like, I always dreamed of having my own home, with no one to intrude on my personal space, or ever have the capability of telling me how to live my life. I guess at such a young age, I was simply yearning for a life away from my parents, their rules, and authority as a whole. Personally, I was not interested in even having a family of my own until I made a very monumental realization: The family I was a part of was not how a family really should be. I was in the fourth grade, finally establishing female friendships - we are brutal from a young age - when "The Realization" hit me. I was partially listening to the first girls to ever treat me like a d...
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